koulumatkakuvia ja outoja keskusteluja

minä

jozef

opettaja/kuraattori/määrittelemätön henkilö

Shine like a Simon.

Why?

Once I knew a guy called Simon. He was cool.

Okay.

You need to be in the mood to eat crisps.

You don't need to be in the mood to eat ice cream.

Accept it and start eating. Or get out. The door is right there.

Maria, I'm gonna but you in charge next time. You can manage.

I'm a Finn, I'll always manage.

It is freezing.

It's not.

Says a girl who's wearing a hat and a coat.

And she's from Finland.

Gosh, it's like minus one degree and it's like the end of the world for you.

Your opinion doesn't count, you're from Finland.

Point well made.

We're having Christmas Lunch with the principal.

Oooooooooooooh.

So we won't be in the psychology exam preparation thing.

Of course not! That's fine, I'll print out some handouts for you.

Thanks.

You know-

No, I don't.

Oh, shut up.

No.

Anyway-

I hate it when you say anyway.

I know, that's why I keep saying it.

"If you were worth more to this marriage, this marriage would be worth more to you."

Are you mocking me?

"I'm calling Marcy. She's got an extra bedroom. I can spend the night there."

It's my monologue, you have yours, Jozef, stick with it!

"I know you don't care, but..."

No, I don't.

"Damn, it's busy!"

I don't say that, it's Ray's part.

Good, 'cause you cannot say that.

Oh really, wanna bet?

It will be 12.12.2012 next week.

The world won't end. The date is 21.12.2012.

I know that. But I was thinking that we should have a party for it.

"Raise the roof!"

You know, it would be hilarious if someone actually danced like that.

No, don't, Jozef, don't, no! Thanks for this demonstration.

You're welcome.

And we didn't even get the whole Atrium as an audience.

We didn't? Should I try again?

No, it's fine, really, it's fine.

Damn, it's busy!

Damn, it's busy!

DAMN, IT'S BUSY!

DAAAAAAAMN, IT'S BUSY!

I need chocolate.

I need chocolate.

Do you have chocolate?

No, I'm sorry. Actually, I'm not.

I need chocolate.

You have chocolate, you lied to me.

No, I didn't, I just bought it.

I'm not talking to you.

Fine. Like it would make a difference.

Tässä tuli taas todistettua, että minulla ja Jozefilla on paljon mielenkiintoisia ja vähäjärkisiä keskusteluita.

P.S. Tutustuin uuteen ihmiseen tänään (enkä enää muista nimeä, sori, vaihtarin kirous) ja tämä ei edes tunnistanut minua ulkomaalaiseksi. Ihmettelin, etteikö aksenttikaan antanut vihjeitä. Kaverit sanoivat, että mun suomalainen/amerikkalainen aksenttini on pahasti haihtumassa ilmaan ja heidän mielestään se oli suunnattoman surullista. Minä tuuletin. Kirjaimellisesti. Täältä tullaan, Walesin epämääräinen mongerrus, pian olet minun! Mutta olen minä sitä harjoitellutkin, vielä kukaan ei ole huomauttanut yksinpuheluistani. Olen saanut heittää roskakoriin englannin opettajani opit ja tuijotellut kunnon brittiläisiä ja walesilaisia televisio-ohjelmia ja kuunnellut korva tarkkana keskusteluja ympärilläni ja hokenut jotain eri tavalla äännettäviä sanoja kotimatkalla. Hullujen huoneelle ei ole vielä lukittu, onneksi.

Olen askeleen lähempänä tavoitettani.